Today I sat in the doctor's office and I said, "What about skating?"
He looked a little puzzled. You could see in his eyes the moment he remembered that I played roller derby.
He said, "Yes, I suppose you can as long as you aren't experiencing pain."
I almost laughed out loud. It's the pain I miss most!! I WANT to feel that pain. I need that pain. That pain makes me forget everything else. That pain gives me something to look forward to; something to work toward.
The women that go through that pain with me, the ones that PUT me in that pain, they understand me in a way that no one else does. Like parents understand how other parents feel, my derby sisters know what I feel when I can't skate. They know the sheer, unabashed bliss I feel when I can. They know that I was thisclose to calling in "sick" to work today to go put my sweet neglected skates for the first time in 10 weeks.
I can hardly wait to have bumps and bruises and rink rash. They may hurt, but they are a testament to my determination. They are a badge of honor that proves I belong somewhere. I have found something worth the sweat. Ohmygod the sweat! Have you any idea what a roller rink with little air circulation full of 60 sweating women feels and smells like? Heaven and Apple Cinnamon. That's what.
Get yo' asses to a bout next year and watch us skate ours off.
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