The older I get the more attuned I am to others around me. I am, or used to be, a very oblivious person. I still am, to a certain degree. I would even venture to say "self-centered" although that is not always the case. I do what I can to take care and be aware of what is going on. But for the most part I tend to stay in my 'E-bubble'.
It's comfortable here. It's warm and cozy and quiet and relatively drama free.
Now that I have put myself out there with more people and I have started being true to myself there is more to . . . deal with. I can't just sit in the corner and fume about not getting my way. Now I have to face it. Now I have to be an adult about it.
Gone are the days when I could talk my way out of or into things. Now, more than ever I have to take what comes my way and just deal with it. There might not be an option for negotiations or second chances. And that truly sucks ass. I am learning to roll with the proverbial punches.
But what really angers me about being an adult is the times when I can't have my cake and eat it too. (An analogy that I never truly understood the orgination of . . . but I digress) Now I have to make decisions that I don't want to make. I can't run away, I have to face those facts of life. And I have to face them sometimes without the support or wisdom of any other person. Never before have I appreciated my mother more than I do now.
pffft . . . usually I am full of words . . . and right now I can't make them form coherant sentences.
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