“Simplicity is making the journey of this life with just baggage enough.”

I used to collect matchbooks. I realized the other day that I have NO idea why, because I hate using matches. I also keep batteries that have gone dead. Why, you ask? I have no clue.

Why do we hold onto things that will do us no good?

It seems to be a silly question sometimes. How true, though, that people hold onto things that just drag them down, both material and emotional.





Why am I holding onto those giant plastic star sunglasses? I will never use them. Maybe once for a silly picture, but that will be it. There are so many other things that I hold onto.



Animosity, old notebooks, useless souvenir trinkets, ratty t-shirts.

Eh, fuck that. I like my ratty t-shirts. I am keeping those. But the rest of this shit can go. The reminders of the broken promises that really don't matter, the memories that are nothing more than . . . well, they're nothing. I have so much useless shit in my possession that I can't possibly remember what it is all for. Perhaps I will have a drinking party, a party for one (maybe I will invite my inner demons as well) and EMOTE. (Thank you, Tim, for the suggestion.) I already know what I will wear to my party . . .

My big blue plastic star sunglasses. I will wear them with pride. And one last time, I will bitch, cry or laugh about all the things I have been holding on to that are actually dragging me down. I will look at the stupid rock collection I still have from the family vacation to the Grotto 20 years ago, I will read through the notes from friends I barely remember and carefully re-pack the notes from the friends that remain in my heart always. I will get rid of the reminders of bad relationships. I will just get rid of the stuff that means nothing. I will wear my favorite Nike t-shirt that is borderline see-through and has the old school Swoosh. Perhaps I will drink Old Milwaukee Light, just for old times sake.

I want to go through all these remnants of my past. Life is too damn short to spend so much time worrying about things that have already happened. I want to take the happy moments and move on to new ones. I need to make room in my life for the good stuff. If I don't make the room, or the TIME, the good shit won't happen. If I continue to spend so much energy and space on the past, the future has no place.

Plus, I have a really small apartment, and frankly, there is no where to put it all.



"Simplicity is making the journey of this life with just baggage enough."
~Charles Dudley Warner

Find your happy place

It seems as if I am just bored with life in general.

Every corner of my mind that I go to offers little to no comfort. I'm trying to make goals, but being a person who prefers instant gratification, goals often end up frustrating me. I cannot recall the last time I felt satisfied with life as a whole. There is always something more that I want.

How do you harness that feeling and turn it into determination? When you work for something that you can't be entirely sure is an option at the time you are finished, how do you keep working for it? Is that based on pure faith and hope? Because, if it is, I lack an essential quality there.

I'll give an example to clarify . . .
There is a certain degree that I want, a job I would absolutely LOVE to have. I am afraid to go back to school for fear no such job we be available in the area when I graduate. I really don't want to leave here, this is home, my family is here.


Oh my word . . .

I think I am having my mid-life crisis.

I always was an early bloomer.