The Four Corners of . . . . Skateland

Today I sat in the doctor's office and I said, "What about skating?"

He looked a little puzzled. You could see in his eyes the moment he remembered that I played roller derby.

He said, "Yes, I suppose you can as long as you aren't experiencing pain."

I almost laughed out loud. It's the pain I miss most!! I WANT to feel that pain. I need that pain. That pain makes me forget everything else. That pain gives me something to look forward to; something to work toward.

The women that go through that pain with me, the ones that PUT me in that pain, they understand me in a way that no one else does. Like parents understand how other parents feel, my derby sisters know what I feel when I can't skate. They know the sheer, unabashed bliss I feel when I can. They know that I was thisclose to calling in "sick" to work today to go put my sweet neglected skates for the first time in 10 weeks.

I can hardly wait to have bumps and bruises and rink rash. They may hurt, but they are a testament to my determination. They are a badge of honor that proves I belong somewhere. I have found something worth the sweat. Ohmygod the sweat! Have you any idea what a roller rink with little air circulation full of 60 sweating women feels and smells like? Heaven and Apple Cinnamon. That's what.

Get yo' asses to a bout next year and watch us skate ours off.

Life is thickly sown with thorns, and I know no other remedy than to pass quickly through them.

I am not trying to be a ninny here, but this is getting ridiculous. I want to skate. I want to work out. I want to MOVE MY BODY. I used to be such a lazy slug. And now that I get a free pass to basically do that, I can't stand it.





I don't want to whine. Hmm, yes I do. I want to whine at someone that I did too many crunches, or too many laps, too many elbow taps . . . WHATEVER. Too many SOMETHING. It totally sucks though that the "too many" I am actually doing is too many hours at work, too many steps taken.





I started working full time yesterday. (After two 30 hour work weeks.) I could barely move this morning. Seriously. When does it get better?? I am not good at waiting. I am a "I want it, and I want it NOW" type of person. Patience is not one of my virtues. I'd be hard-pressed to list any virtues right now, but that really is beside the point I guess.





Jealousy is starting to eat at me. All these women that get to skate . . . gr.



I mean . . . it HURTS. My ankle hurts so bad most of the time. I am insanely crabby. To the point where I can't even stand myself. Between the pain, Will not being home, my hormones all out of whack from the miscarriage yet and all the things I am trying to organize (Mom's birthday, my birthday, campouts in my yard, DJ for two Roller Derby events, Krista's baby shower, Will's homecoming, the Danielson lake trip) I could seriously strangle someone.



I don't know how to shake it off. I used to "work" it out at the gym . . . but noooooooooooooo. Good thing I don't like hard drugs. HAHAHAHaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Not funny???