I still think of you often.

Fourteen


How can we be sure of anything
the tide changes.
The wind that made the grain wave
gently yesterday-blows down
the trees tomorrow.
And the sea sends sailors crashing
on the rocks.
As easily as it guides them safely home.
I love the sea.
But it doesn't make me less afraid of it.
I love you.
but I'm not always sure of
what you are and how you feel.
I'd like to crawl behind your eyes and see me as you do.
Or climb through your mouth
and sit on every word that comes
up through your throat.
Maybe I could be sure then
maybe I could know
as it is- I hide beneath your frowns or worry when you laugh
too loud.
always sure a storm is rising.
~Author unknown

Each friend represents a world in us . . .

"Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish it's source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings."



~Anais Nin







Anais Nin quotes rock my socks. But how flippin' true, right? Everything I have loved and love no longer, is not necessarily because it was something that I actually DIDN'T love, but because I didn't know how to hold on to the love, how to make it stay.







It really coincides (for me) with "Time heals all wounds." If you are without something you love for long enough, the love will fade. (I guess to me this also indicates a natural death so that is confusing but there are exceptions to every rule.)







I suppose my hard and fast belief on this particular topic is that if the love is important, you will nurture it as best you can, you will work at it, you will fight for it. That's the tricky part, constantly working at it. You'll get in slumps, you will get distracted, you will lose interest. Perhaps you will be reminded, perhaps it will forever be forgotten.

Housekeeping

http://someone-had-to.livejournal.com/

Old blog.

Working on organizing my thoughts. Which would really work so much better if I stop having new ones.

no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should

The Battlescar Galactica take the track for the first time tonight.

It will also be my first bout.

I have been overwhelmed with thoughts of derby for the last two days. Oh, who am I kidding, I have been thinking about it constantly since I got drafted. The only difference is that the derby dreams are increasing, the obsession over what I should eat to properly fuel my body is beginning, I drink less, I sleep more, I *contemplate* becoming a non-smoker.

It's consuming me. I joke about the fact that derby is taking over my life. While it is no joke, I don't mind it. I am sure that my family and friends mind somewhat. There are incredibly supportive. I have some 20+ people coming tonight to cheer me on (perhaps a few of them swayed by the promise of cheap beer.)

I cannot WAIT for this. I am kind of nervous. I know, at this point, my skill level is what it is. I am not going to magically become a better skater before the bout tonight. My nerves are based more upon making the people coming to see me proud.

I can hardly think straight, much less sit still. I wish this day would go faster.

amErica RULES.

I have heartburn.